Reminder: Judge “Gin and Juice” Nora Longoria Wants Your Vote On Election Day

in RGV/The News
Judge nora longoria dwi mugshot
Judge nora longoria dwi mugshot

Remember that Judge that got pulled over for DWI? Well, she’s running for office again, so now would be a great time to refresh our memory on the absolute shit-show that was Judge Nora Longoria’s DWI arrest and every rat-assed event that followed.

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Six Whole-Ass Valley News Sites and None of Them Had a Unique Thought on Last Night’s Debate

in RGV/The News
Cruz Beto Debate Valley News

After a hotly contested, final debate in one of the most anticipated Senate races in recent history between Senator Ted Cruz and Congressman Beto O’Rourke, KRGV, KGBT-Valley Central, The Monitor, The Valley Morning Star, The Brownsville Herald, and the Rio Grande Guardian woke up this morning with a real chance to add their own unique reporting on last night’s events and all of them just said ‘fuck it.’ Keep Reading

2018 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 1

in RGV/Sports
2018 Worst RGV Football Teams Week 1

While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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Manu Ginobili Was a Wizard

in Sports
manu ginobili

With the announcement of his retirement earlier today, it’s easy to assume that Manu Ginobili’s professional career will mostly be remembered for his contributions to the Spurs’ four championships as a member of San Antonio’s “Big Three” including Tim Duncan and Tony Parker and that’s really unfortunate. Summing his career like that is an incredibly criminal understatement because Manu was so much more. Manu was a wizard. Keep Reading

UIL Denying Transfers For Athletic Purposes Is Bullshit

in RGV/Sports

On August 14th, a committee of adults decided the fate of a teenager, one of whom would have had zero tangible consequence to any of the members of said committee, because the University Interscholastic League bylaws for transfers are utter bullshit. Keep Reading

Mission Ex-Mayor Beto Salinas Vs. New Mayor Gets A Trial; Will Be A Shitshow

in RGV/The News
ex mission mayor norberto beto salinas

A trial date has been set for September 24th for a lawsuit filed back on July 18th by Ex-Mayor of Mission Beto Salinas who has accused the newly elected mayor, Dr. Armando O’Caña of voter fraud and a bunch of other shady dealings. Keep Reading

KGBT Channel 4 Covered A Journalist Eating An Egg Off The Ground

in RGV/The News
kgbt channel 4 covers anchor eating floor egg

I’d imagine that working in local news is a pain in the ass. You need to fill up hours per day with all kinds of shit and yesterday, KGBT Channel 4 did their absolute best.

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Your Caca Is Floating All Over Boca Chica Beach Right Now

in RGV/The News
boca chica beach caca

Cameron County officials have placed Boca Chica Beach on red alert after a culture sample conducted by UTRGV Coastal Studies tested for high levels of fecal bacteria in the waterKeep Reading

Hey, Richard Molina, Go Fuck Yourself

in RGV/The News
Mayor Richard The Dick Molina

Edinburg Mayor Richard “The Dick” Molina has spent all of a few months in office and has already given voters virtually every reason to loathe him entirely. This week’s episode? Killing Anonymous RGV’s Facebook page because, maybe, his feelings got hurt, I guess. Keep Reading

We’ve Got Some Questions About The Fajita Bandit

in RGV/The News

A few days ago, THE fajita bandit Gilberto Escamilla was sentenced to 50 years in prison for stealing approximately $1.2 million in fajitas over the course of nine years from the Cameron County Juvenile Detention Center while he was an employee and we have some real legit questions that we need some answers to.

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