Monthly archive

September 2016

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Monitor’s 2016 Choice Awards

in Rants/RGV

Bring out the red carpet and bust out our finest $9-est champagne! It’s the The Monitor’s 2016 Readers’ Choice Awards (breakfast banquet)! ALL the local big-wigs are here like the fresh cadaver running for congress and a giant dick from Hidalgo (maybe!). So strap-on that strap-on and get ready to get skull-fucked by the best of the best that the Valley has to offer! Keep Reading

2016 RGV Worst High School Football Teams Week 5

in RGV/Sports

While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

Keep Reading

City of Mercedes: Our Water Probably Gave You The Shits

in RGV

People in Mercedes probably suffered through mud butt all summer long and it’s ALL THE CITY’S FAULT! (maybe) Keep Reading

2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 3

in RGV/Sports

While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

Keep Reading

2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 2

in RGV/Sports

While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams. Keep Reading

Go to Top