February 2018

Javier Villalobos, City of Donna Attorney, Re-Affirms That Donna Is A Dump

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In a video posted on McAllen attorney Javier Villalobos’ city commissioner campaign Facebook page, Villalobos responded to his opponent (who is still running the strangest campaign in recent memory who is now, apparently, the “voice for the animals“) Tim Wilkins’ suggestions that Villalobos’ current position as an attorney for the City of Donna would potentially be a conflict, being that he would be representing the interests of two different municipalities. In response to Wilkins’ suggestions, much like our favorite billionaire boi did to Brownsville a few weeks ago, Villalobos made quick work to re-affirm to all of us that Donna is, indeed, a shithole. Keep Reading

Clayton’s Owner, Clayton Brashear, Defends Booking Child Sex Offender Tekashi69; Is a Shitbag

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Like most people, I tend to stay away from SPI during spring break simply because I don’t want to contract gonorrhea. I also avoid Clayton’s as much as possible because $10 for an ass-can margarita and a bullshit $5 “cooler charge” to access the beach behind their building (when they closed off the access to the side of their building) doesn’t quite do it for me. So, when I think about Clayton’s owner (whom I’ve never actually met) I imagine a shitbag who would do anything to squeeze out another dollar. I also, however, try to give people the benefit of the doubt (maybe he isn’t a bag of shit?).

However, after the widespread backlash Clayton’s had received for booking a known child sex offender in Tekashi69 this Spring Break, and Clayton’s subsequent moronic defense of his booking, it’s safe to say that Clayton Brashear is, in fact, the shitbag I thought he was all along. Keep Reading

Congratulations, Brownsville. You Are The Unhealthiest City In America

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Yesterday, WalletHub released the findings of their study of the healthiest cities in the United States, comparing the top 174 most populated U.S. cities among metrics such as access to affordable healthcare, fruit and vegetable consumption, and fitness clubs per capita. In true Brownsville fashion, the oft-forgotten residents who only pop back into our memory once something goes (and it always does) terribly wrong for them, found themselves ranked dead last in the Wallethub rankings claiming the title as America’s Unhealthiest City. Keep Reading

Even Elon Musk Knows That Nobody Actually Lives In Brownsville

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Elon Musk, billionaire boy who just tripped balls after having launched a God-damn car into space, took a minute to completely shit all over the non-existent people who live (or don’t?) just a few miles over in the outskirts of Brownsville. Keep Reading