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JD

JD has 230 articles published.

Even Elon Musk Knows That Nobody Actually Lives In Brownsville

in RGV/The News by
elon musk brownsville

Elon Musk, billionaire boy who just tripped balls after having launched a God-damn car into space, took a minute to completely shit all over the non-existent people who live (or don’t?) just a few miles over in the outskirts of Brownsville. Keep Reading

The Bench Wire’s 2018 NFL Playoffs Preview (Wildcard Round)

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2018 NFL Playoffs Preview Wildcard

The playoffs are here and it’s HIGHLY likely that your team’s season is over. BUT there are still a lot of great games and great matchups to look forward to for the next month.

Your best drinking buddies at The Bench Wire are here to give you our amazingly insightful look into the playoffs so that you actually sound like you know what the hell you’re talking about at your friend’s BBQ this weekend.

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McAllen’s Tim Wilkins Is Running One Weird Campaign

in RGV/The News by
Tim Wilkins McAllen

A little after McAllen City Commissioner Richard Cortez announced that he would be running for the vacant Hidalgo County Judge seat against Eloy Pulido, three candidates have thrown their name into the ring to step in and replace Cortez; none of which have had a more bat-shit campaign than Tim Wilkins.  Keep Reading

KGBT Channel 4 ValleyCentral Is Running A Story That Is Basically An Ad

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KGBT, Channel 4, ValleyCentral.com

If you peruse through ValleyCentral.com, you’ll notice that one of their latest stories is headlined “Southwest Airlines offering flights as low as $59,” which, on its face may be newsworthy, but once you click on the link, the post is void of any journalistic input and kinda looks like a paid advertisement. Keep Reading

Let’s Watch Georgia’s Sony “PlayStation” Michel End Oklahoma’s Season Last Night

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During last night’s thriller of a Rose Bowl, the Georgia Bulldogs came back from 17 down in the first half to beat the Oklahoma Sooners in what would be Baker “The Crotch” Mayfield’s last game in double overtime. Keep Reading

Let’s Photoshop Hidalgo County Commissioner Joseph Palacios’ Weird Campaign Sign

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Hidalgo County Commissioner for Pct. 4, Joseph Palacios, is running for re-election and I can’t NOT look at his severely awkward campaigns signs. Keep Reading

Advance News Journal Has A Lot Of Questions; No Answers, Apparently

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On my morning commute, I spotted a homeless man starting a fire underneath the underpass to warm himself from our recent cold front. His combustible material of choice? Wednesday’s edition of Advance News Journal of course! See, it actually burns much longer than most papers because it’s actually covered with shit. As I happened to spot the latest edition’s headlines, I nearly fell into an existential crisis; transported into a reality where a front cover of a (news)paper could ask so many questions and answer literally none of them.

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Nominate Me For 2017 RGV Citizen Of The Year (Or Don’t, Whatever)

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2017 RGV Citizen of the year

The Monitor is asking for nominations for RGV Citizen of the Year and, although we’ve had our run-ins, I’m sure The Monitor would gladly accept my nomination from you, my readers. Keep Reading

RIP Gamehaus; McAllen Bar To Close By The End of The Month

in RGV/The News by
Gamehaus

According to an agreed judgment filed in Hidalgo County’s 332nd District Court, Gamehaus has agreed to cease operations after December 31st of this year, ending a nearly two-year long legal battle with the City of McAllen. Keep Reading

The Bench Wire’s 2018 FIFA World Cup Preview

in Sports by

The final draw for the 2018 World Cup was held this morning in Russia. Here are the matchups for the 2018 World Cup. Keep Reading

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