Bring out the red carpet and bust out our finest $9-est champagne! It’s the The Monitor’s 2016 Readers’ Choice Awards (breakfast banquet)! ALL the local big-wigs are here like the fresh cadaver running for congress and a giant dick from Hidalgo (maybe!). So strap-on that strap-on and get ready to get skull-fucked by the best of the best that the Valley has to offer! Keep Reading
The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.
There was an accident on the expressway, so we got off on I-Road, only to get stuck behind another 80-car pile-up on the frontage. Welcome to San Juan.
Earlier this week, Pharr’s City Commission voted to ban indoor smoking in all public places including bars and restaurants and The Monitor’s editorial board ate that shit up.
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The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.
We meant to drive to South Padre Island but missed the TX-100 exit and ended up in a 2nd world country instead. Welcome to Brownsville.
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The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.
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In news that really isn’t news, those of us living in the Valley are really really poor. =(
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If you’ve driven anywhere in McAllen, you’ve probably noticed a cold rush of nerves fill up your spine; being chased by this nightmare feeling like you’re being stared at relentlessly by the eyes of a toothy mummy. Don’t worry; it’s not the work of some Indian demon curse, it’s just Vicente Gonzalez’ leather face getting implanted deep into your head over and over and over again!
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Now that the dust is beginning to settle on the worst attack on French soil since World War II; now that we know who is responsible for it; now that we’re beginning to collect some of the worst responses post-tragedy, I think maybe now would be a good time to talk about ISIS.
Last night, the Mavericks played the Clippers in Dallas in their first match up against one another this season. Since most of us don’t live under a rock, you can imagine that last night’s game had a few more people keeping an eye on it after what was easily the strangest sports story this summer.
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After losing their 5th straight game Sunday, a 13-12 loss to the struggling Seahawks, the Dallas Cowboys and their fans need to come to terms with the reality of their situation:
It’s time to pack it up and call it a season.
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