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Pharr’s New Indoor Smoking Ban (and The Monitor) Can Eat Dick

in Rants/RGV
Pharr City Commission

Earlier this week, Pharr’s City Commission voted to ban indoor smoking in all public places including bars and restaurants and The Monitor’s editorial board ate that shit up.
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The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Brownsville

in Rants/RGV

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.

We meant to drive to South Padre Island but missed the TX-100 exit and ended up in a 2nd world country instead. Welcome to Brownsville.
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The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Donna

in Rants/RGV

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.
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Report: RGV Has The Poorest Counties In Texas

in Rants/RGV
Poorest Counties RGV

In news that really isn’t news, those of us living in the Valley are really really poor. =(
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Can Vicente Gonzalez Get The Hell Out Of My Face Already?

in Rants/RGV
Vicente Gonzalez

If you’ve driven anywhere in McAllen, you’ve probably noticed a cold rush of nerves fill up your spine; being chased by this nightmare feeling like you’re being stared at relentlessly by the eyes of a toothy mummy. Don’t worry; it’s not the work of some Indian demon curse, it’s just Vicente Gonzalez’ leather face getting implanted deep into your head over and over and over again!
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Fans from Dallas Are Either Hypocrites or Jerks

in Rants/Sports
Dallas Cowboys Greg Hardy

Last night, the Mavericks played the Clippers in Dallas in their first match up against one another this season. Since most of us don’t live under a rock, you can imagine that last night’s game had a few more people keeping an eye on it after what was easily the strangest sports story this summer.
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It’s Time For the Dallas Cowboys To End Their Season Already

in Rants/Sports
tony romo dallas cowboys

After losing their 5th straight game Sunday, a 13-12 loss to the struggling Seahawks, the Dallas Cowboys and their fans need to come to terms with the reality of their situation:

It’s time to pack it up and call it a season.
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Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 3

in Rants/Sports
worst rgv teams week 3

While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 2

in Rants/RGV

While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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