A few days ago, THE fajita bandit Gilberto Escamilla was sentenced to 50 years in prison for stealing approximately $1.2 million in fajitas over the course of nine years from the Cameron County Juvenile Detention Center while he was an employee and we have some real legit questions that we need some answers to. Keep Reading
La Villa board of aldermen voted last Wednesday to raise back their daily trip spending allowance (per diem) from $150 to $250 just two years out from their controversial trip to Las Vegas that saw aldermen pocket over $2,250 in taxpayer money each. Keep Reading
In a video posted on McAllen attorney Javier Villalobos’ city commissioner campaign Facebook page, Villalobos responded to his opponent (who is still running the strangest campaign in recent memory who is now, apparently, the “voice for the animals“) Tim Wilkins’ suggestions that Villalobos’ current position as an attorney for the City of Donna would potentially be a conflict, being that he would be representing the interests of two different municipalities. In response to Wilkins’ suggestions, much like our favorite billionaire boi did to Brownsville a few weeks ago, Villalobos made quick work to re-affirm to all of us that Donna is, indeed, a shithole. Keep Reading
Like most people, I tend to stay away from SPI during spring break simply because I don’t want to contract gonorrhea. I also avoid Clayton’s as much as possible because $10 for an ass-can margarita and a bullshit $5 “cooler charge” to access the beach behind their building (when they closed off the access to the side of their building) doesn’t quite do it for me. So, when I think about Clayton’s owner (whom I’ve never actually met) I imagine a shitbag who would do anything to squeeze out another dollar. I also, however, try to give people the benefit of the doubt (maybe he isn’t a bag of shit?).
However, after the widespread backlash Clayton’s had received for booking a known child sex offender in Tekashi69 this Spring Break, and Clayton’s subsequent moronic defense of his booking, it’s safe to say that Clayton Brashear is, in fact, the shitbag I thought he was all along. Keep Reading
Yesterday, WalletHub released the findings of their study of the healthiest cities in the United States, comparing the top 174 most populated U.S. cities among metrics such as access to affordable healthcare, fruit and vegetable consumption, and fitness clubs per capita. In true Brownsville fashion, the oft-forgotten residents who only pop back into our memory once something goes (and it always does) terribly wrong for them, found themselves ranked dead last in the Wallethub rankings claiming the title as America’s Unhealthiest City. Keep Reading
Elon Musk, billionaire boy who just tripped balls after having launched a God-damn car into space, took a minute to completely shit all over the non-existent people who live (or don’t?) just a few miles over in the outskirts of Brownsville. Keep Reading
A little after McAllen City Commissioner Richard Cortez announced that he would be running for the vacant Hidalgo County Judge seat against Eloy Pulido, three candidates have thrown their name into the ring to step in and replace Cortez; none of which have had a more bat-shit campaign than Tim Wilkins. Keep Reading
If you peruse through ValleyCentral.com, you’ll notice that one of their latest stories is headlined “Southwest Airlines offering flights as low as $59,” which, on its face may be newsworthy, but once you click on the link, the post is void of any journalistic input and kinda looks like a paid advertisement. Keep Reading
Hidalgo County Commissioner for Pct. 4, Joseph Palacios, is running for re-election and I can’t NOT look at his severely awkward campaigns signs. Keep Reading
On my morning commute, I spotted a homeless man starting a fire underneath the underpass to warm himself from our recent cold front. His combustible material of choice? Wednesday’s edition of Advance News Journal of course! See, it actually burns much longer than most papers because it’s actually covered with shit. As I happened to spot the latest edition’s headlines, I nearly fell into an existential crisis; transported into a reality where a front cover of a (news)paper could ask so many questions and answer literally none of them.