Earlier this week, The Monitor’s latest iteration “myrgv.com” posted a timeline of the scandal involving Edinburg Police Chief, Cesar Torres. As with most articles written by the journalists on myrgv.com, it took me all of about 3 minutes to suffer an aneurism. For the sake of clarity and to save the rest of the reading public from losing their minds attempting to make sense of this mess, here’s our version of this juicy, albeit very stupid, scandal.
It’s campaign season in McAllen, which means your eyes get to be polluted by all sorts of campaign signs in hopes of attracting you enough to even, you know, actually give a shit vote. Let’s be real: I don’t think anybody on or running for the McAllen city commission is going to give me the time of day to interview them on their policies, so we’re offering up the next best thing!
The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.
We took a trip to Mile 5 for some tacos and all we got was a mouthful of disappointment. Welcome To Mission.
After yet another disappointing postseason for both the Philadelphia 76’ers and the Houston Rockets, both organizations have (mercifully for 76ers’ fans) finally let go of both of their respective coaches, which means Mike D’Antoni has become, yet again for absolutely no reason, the hottest name on the coaching carousel. It’s been reported that D’Antoni is already a shoo-in for the Sixers vacancy, however more intriguingly, there’s also been rumors flying around that Houston guard James Harden might join him and I’m here to end this nonsense once and for all.
Nurses and staff working at the Doctor’s Hospital at Renaissance COVID facility in Edinburg have come forward to shed a light on the abhorrent patient conditions in the make-shift facility that include PPE being hidden from staff, ants crawling all over incapacitated patients, corpses in non-air conditioned rooms next to medical equipment, and at least one incident where a patient died after he suffered from hypoxia when staff accidentally attempted to provide him with oxygen on an empty tank.
After Tesla and SpaceX CEO and founder Elon Musk’s recent announcement that he would be looking at either Nevada or Texas to move his Tesla manufacturing plant, Hidalgo County judge Richard Cortez, of Precious fame, seized at the opportunity to publicly proclaim that Hidalgo would be more than willing to welcome Tesla down to the Rio Grande Valley, which would be, undeniably, a great thing.
I woke up this morning, scrolled through Facebook and found that a swath of my own friends (God help them) had shared a story titled HARLINGEN, TX: FUNERAL HOME EMPLOYEE CREMATED BY MISTAKE WHILE TAKING A NAP to which I rolled over and thought:
My friends can’t be THIS stupid, right?