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Local RGV things

2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 1

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams. Keep Reading

VITC Health Care District: Cut the Shit, Racists

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There are a few group of people who follow valley politics pretty closely. I like to think that I am one of them.

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The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: San Juan

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The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.

There was an accident on the expressway, so we got off on I-Road, only to get stuck behind another 80-car pile-up on the frontage. Welcome to San Juan.

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San Juan Cop Gets To Keep His Job After Kneeing A Guy In The Crotch

An independent arbitrator has ruled in favor of San Juan police officer JP Galindo after he was suspended and subsequently fired for using excessive force on a man who was placed under arrest back in mid-December of last year. Keep Reading

Casino Bus Crash Victims Won’t Be Compensated Because Two Attorneys Made Dick Moves

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From a story published by Kristian Hernandez of The Monitor this morning, most of the victims of the casino bus crash that left 9 dead and 43 injured will see little to no compensation for their injuries because Ricardo Villanueva and Javier Villarreal, known for his awkward boxing adverts and terrible millennial grammar (ifight4u.com), are both pricks who sharked their way into the insurance policy limits first. Keep Reading

2016 Best Bars In McAllen Ranked

Last year, our list of the best bars in McAllen was met with literally no acclaim from ANYONE we ranked on the list. (thanks guys!)

So here’s a toast to another year of The Bench Wire going, potentially, unnoticed. (here, HERE!)

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Brownsville US Rep. Filemon Vela to Trump: “Shove Your Border Wall Up Your Ass”

In this week’s episode of ‘Tell Us How You Really Feel,’ Brownsville US Rep. Filemon Vela has had just about enough of Trump’s shit. Keep Reading

Rep. Terry Canales Goes On Epic 2 AM Rant About McAllen Iglesias Secret Spending

At 2:19 AM Sunday morning, I was about 5 or 6 tequila and sodas in, clumsily climbing into my car and trying my best not to alert the cop parked a mere 20 feet away of my absolute incapacity to operate a motor vehicle. Glamour shot enthusiast and State Rep. Terry Canales, on the other hand, thought it would be a good time to tweet out a rant. Keep Reading

McAllen Found One Sweet-Ass Loophole To Hide That Enrique Iglesias Money

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On Tuesday, the Texas Attorney General’s office denied The Monitor’s request for the City of McAllen to disclose how much they paid Enrique Iglesias for his performance at December’s Christmas Parade concert.
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Pharr’s New Indoor Smoking Ban (and The Monitor) Can Eat Dick

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Earlier this week, Pharr’s City Commission voted to ban indoor smoking in all public places including bars and restaurants and The Monitor’s editorial board ate that shit up.
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