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The Cleveland Cavaliers Are An Absolute Dumpster Fire Right Now

in Sports by
Cleveland Cavaliers LeBron James Kyrie Irving

This time last summer, The Cleveland Cavaliers were on top of the world and the greatest chapter of LeBron’s legacy had just been written after having resurrected the Cavs from a 3-1 deficit and capping the greatest NBA Finals ever by bringing Cleveland the city’s first championship in over fifty years.

Fast forward one major free-agent signing and a spirit-crushing NBA Finals one year later and the Cavaliers have suddenly transformed into something resembling the shit storm that made LeBron exit to Miami nearly six years ago. Keep Reading

Warriors vs Cavs: The Bench Wire 2017 NBA Finals Preview

in Sports by
2017 Warriors Cavs NBA Finals

Welp! Here we are again.
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Hero Spurs Fan Files Lawsuit Against Zaza Pachulia For Injuring Kawhi Leonard

in Sports/The News by
Kawhi Leonard San Antonio Spurs Golden State Warriors

Spurs fan and owner of San Antonio sports collectibles store What’s On Second, Juan Vasquez has filed a lawsuit against both the Golden State Warriors and Zaza Pachulia over their role in the injury of Spurs’ superstar Kawhi Leonard. Keep Reading

Ranking The Remaining RGV Boys Soccer Teams

in RGV/Sports by
RGV Soccer La Joya Juarez Lincoln

Disclaimer: All team records and stats were retrieved from They may or may not be accurate but our sports data sites (who are SUPPOSED to be keeping up with these things and get paid to post ads on their sites) don’t have info on these teams;, don’t give two shits about soccer, High School Sports Magazine doesn’t know how to use the internet apparently, and RGVFutbol is dead. I’m not about to dig through 17 or so weeks of The Monitor box scores to tally up records, so you get what you get. Keep Reading

Cristiano Ronaldo’s Bronze Bust Will Eat You In Your Sleep

in Sports by
Cristiano Ronaldo Bust

Demi-god and soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo was honored in his hometown of Madeira, Portugal earlier today with the dedicating of the local airport in his name and the unveiling of a bust forged in a black hole of nightmares. Keep Reading

Writers Need To Stop Preaching To The NFL To Be The Moral Police

in Sports by

On Monday, Drew Magary wrote an article for GQ criticizing the NFL for dragging their feet investigating Ezekiel Elliott’s alleged incident with his ex-Girlfriend this past summer. For those who know me personally, know that Magary is my spirit animal. His writing style alone is one of the greater inspirations that led us to build The Bench Wire. It pains me to say, however, that Drew Magary needs to, very much, shut the fuck up.

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2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 7

in RGV/Sports by

While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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