La Villa Aldermen Raise Back Their Per Diem To $250 A Day; Give No Shits

in RGV/The News
la villa the monitor

La Villa board of aldermen voted last Wednesday to raise back their daily trip spending allowance (per diem) from $150 to $250 just two years out from their controversial trip to Las Vegas that saw aldermen pocket over $2,250 in taxpayer money each. Keep Reading

Canelo vs GGG 2 Cancelled After Alvarez Pulls Out After Pending Suspension

in Sports
canelo alvarez

Golden Boy Promotions, who represent prominent Mexican boxer Saul “Canelo” Alvarez, held a press conference today announcing that the highly anticipated rematch between Alvarez and Gennady Golovkin on May 5th has been canceled. During the press conference, Golden Boy President Eric Gamez, sitting next to Chairman/CEO Oscar De La Hoya, announced that both Alvarez and Golden Boy thought it best for Alvarez to pull out of the fight, believing that Alvarez’ April 18th hearing with the Nevada State Athletic Commission to determine the extension to Alverez’ current suspension will likely not go in his favor. Keep Reading

KGBT Channel 4 Featured In Viral Video Discrediting The Media

in The News
Dan Joseph KGBT Valley Central

A few weeks ago, CNN’s Brian Stelter reported that Sinclair Broadcast Group, the largest owner of local television stations in the world, would be directing their stations to read a specific “anti-media” promo to air at a later time. Those promos have since aired and over the weekend, Deadspin compiled an Orwellian-nightmare video montage of every station they could find that aired the same exact promo. Guess who made the cut! Keep Reading

OK, We Gotta Stop Using “Latinx” Already

in Rants/The News

While perusing through Deadspin this morning, I stumbled across an article posted on Splinter News (a sister site to Deadspin and Gizmodo) yesterday titled “Ted Cruz Continues His Perfect Streak of Brutal Self-Owns“. The article covers Cruz’ recent ad that’s basically a terribly written country jingle that pokes fun at his opponent, Congressman Beto O’Rourke’s nickname “Beto.”

The article was reading fine if not more slanted than usual, when I suddenly heard a short sharp shriek in my head when I came across this sentence:  Keep Reading

Javier Villalobos, City of Donna Attorney, Re-Affirms That Donna Is A Dump

in RGV/The News
javier villalobos

In a video posted on McAllen attorney Javier Villalobos’ city commissioner campaign Facebook page, Villalobos responded to his opponent (who is still running the strangest campaign in recent memory who is now, apparently, the “voice for the animals“) Tim Wilkins’ suggestions that Villalobos’ current position as an attorney for the City of Donna would potentially be a conflict, being that he would be representing the interests of two different municipalities. In response to Wilkins’ suggestions, much like our favorite billionaire boi did to Brownsville a few weeks ago, Villalobos made quick work to re-affirm to all of us that Donna is, indeed, a shithole. Keep Reading

Clayton’s Owner, Clayton Brashear, Defends Booking Child Sex Offender Tekashi69; Is a Shitbag

in RGV/The News

Like most people, I tend to stay away from SPI during spring break simply because I don’t want to contract gonorrhea. I also avoid Clayton’s as much as possible because $10 for an ass-can margarita and a bullshit $5 “cooler charge” to access the beach behind their building (when they closed off the access to the side of their building) doesn’t quite do it for me. So, when I think about Clayton’s owner (whom I’ve never actually met) I imagine a shitbag who would do anything to squeeze out another dollar. I also, however, try to give people the benefit of the doubt (maybe he isn’t a bag of shit?).

However, after the widespread backlash Clayton’s had received for booking a known child sex offender in Tekashi69 this Spring Break, and Clayton’s subsequent moronic defense of his booking, it’s safe to say that Clayton Brashear is, in fact, the shitbag I thought he was all along. Keep Reading

Congratulations, Brownsville. You Are The Unhealthiest City In America

in RGV/The News
brownsville

Yesterday, WalletHub released the findings of their study of the healthiest cities in the United States, comparing the top 174 most populated U.S. cities among metrics such as access to affordable healthcare, fruit and vegetable consumption, and fitness clubs per capita. In true Brownsville fashion, the oft-forgotten residents who only pop back into our memory once something goes (and it always does) terribly wrong for them, found themselves ranked dead last in the Wallethub rankings claiming the title as America’s Unhealthiest City. Keep Reading

Even Elon Musk Knows That Nobody Actually Lives In Brownsville

in RGV/The News
elon musk brownsville

Elon Musk, billionaire boy who just tripped balls after having launched a God-damn car into space, took a minute to completely shit all over the non-existent people who live (or don’t?) just a few miles over in the outskirts of Brownsville. Keep Reading

The Bench Wire’s 2018 NFL Playoffs Preview (Wildcard Round)

in Sports
2018 NFL Playoffs Preview Wildcard

The playoffs are here and it’s HIGHLY likely that your team’s season is over. BUT there are still a lot of great games and great matchups to look forward to for the next month.

Your best drinking buddies at The Bench Wire are here to give you our amazingly insightful look into the playoffs so that you actually sound like you know what the hell you’re talking about at your friend’s BBQ this weekend.

Keep Reading

McAllen’s Tim Wilkins Is Running One Weird Campaign

in RGV/The News
Tim Wilkins McAllen

A little after McAllen City Commissioner Richard Cortez announced that he would be running for the vacant Hidalgo County Judge seat against Eloy Pulido, three candidates have thrown their name into the ring to step in and replace Cortez; none of which have had a more bat-shit campaign than Tim Wilkins.  Keep Reading

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