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Brownsville

Congratulations, Brownsville. You Are The Unhealthiest City In America

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Yesterday, WalletHub released the findings of their study of the healthiest cities in the United States, comparing the top 174 most populated U.S. cities among metrics such as access to affordable healthcare, fruit and vegetable consumption, and fitness clubs per capita. In true Brownsville fashion, the oft-forgotten residents who only pop back into our memory once something goes (and it always does) terribly wrong for them, found themselves ranked dead last in the Wallethub rankings claiming the title as America’s Unhealthiest City. Keep Reading

Even Elon Musk Knows That Nobody Actually Lives In Brownsville

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Elon Musk, billionaire boy who just tripped balls after having launched a God-damn car into space, took a minute to completely shit all over the non-existent people who live (or don’t?) just a few miles over in the outskirts of Brownsville. Keep Reading

PSYCH! Brownsville Shitty Commissioner Cesar De Leon Won’t Resign After All

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WELP! The City of Brownsville spokeswoman Roxanna Rosas has stated that embattled Brownsville City Commissioner At Large “A” Cesar De Leon has rescinded his letter of resignation that he had submitted to the city just four days ago. This will be our fourth story covering this dip-shit and I’m already sick of it. Keep Reading

Brownsville City Commissioner Cesar De Leon Has Resigned For The Dumbest Reason

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Three days after having apologized during a city commission meeting for calling two black county prosecutors “niggers,” as well as calling other female officials “bitch” and “twat,” among other things during a secretly recorded conversation between himself and Carlos Elizondo, and concluding the message affirmatively stating that he would not resign, Brownsville City Commissioner Cesar De Leon has resigned from his post effective immediately in the most bullshit way possible. Keep Reading

Piece of Shit Racist Brownsville City Commissioner Cesar De Leon Will Not Resign

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Brownsville City Commissioner Cesar De Leon took the stand to read a prepared statement during last night’s City Commission meeting, apologizing for calling two black county prosecutors “niggers,” calling other female officials “bitch” and “twat,” among other things during a secretly recorded conversation between himself and Carlos Elizondo. In the statement, De Leon expressed that he would continue his “commitment to the people of Brownsville, nor will (he) back down in (his) fight for (their) great community.” In other words: he’s not resigning and that’s bullshit. 

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Here Is The Leaked Audio of Brownsville Commissioner Cesar De Leon’s Racist Rant

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Audio has been circling around social media over the last 24 hours of Brownsville City Commissioner Cesar de Leon’s conversation with Brownsville fire chief, Carlos Elizondo, criticizing Cameron County District Attorney hiring of two black prosecutors, calling them “fucking niggers.” Keep Reading

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Brownsville

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The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.

We meant to drive to South Padre Island but missed the TX-100 exit and ended up in a 2nd world country instead. Welcome to Brownsville.
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