Vicente Gonzalez Is Going To Buy This Election Because Fuck You

in The News

Vicente Gonzalez, a cardboard cut-out who wants you to know that he exists, has now spent over $1.6 million dollars for the right to be named our US Representative. So, let’s talk about that for a second.

By the numbers, Vicente’s campaign is worth $1,697,000 with only $32,350 coming from individual contributions. That means that Vicente is funding over 97% of his own campaign. That’s insane! Looking at his results (aka the manhandling of his opponents in the March primaries) it doesn’t really matter how much money or how many people are contributing to his campaign. He’s going to win this election because he damn well paid enough money to.

Typically, a symptom of a winning campaign is that it usually belongs to the candidate who can boast the most contributions. Obviously, that’s not the case here. Vicente simply threw down unGodly sums of money to get his name out there; bought a few billboards, a million signs, a few commercials…and we ate it all up.

Before last October, nobody outside of McAllen even knew who the hell this guy was, and now he’s on the cusp of dominating a race his name clearly didn’t belong in.

All Vicente has left is to square up against fellow Democrat Juan “Sonny” Palacios (yes, of THOSE Palacios) on May 24th, who himself, has $158,157 in contributions. He’s outpacing Vicente in contributions 5 to 1 and is behind by twice as many votes. Vicente is “Trumping” this election in every sense of the word.

On May 24th, Vicente will straight-up murder Sonny in the polls and there’s absolutely nothing Sonny and his powerful family, the Democratic party, this article, or you can do to stop that.


  1. I know Vicente personally and professionally man is honest and ethical and yes successful. Man wants to serve. Is that bad? I believe he will rejoin the words Public and Servant together again after many years of wandering the wilderness. When did u last hear the pairing of the words “Public Servant?”

  2. Yep! He wants to serve us soooo bad to the tune of close to 2 MILLION! He is so nice and thoughtful…Nah! My votes NOT FOR SALE!!! SONNY PALACIOS FOR CONGRESS!!!

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