The NBA Draft is probably the most predictable of the 4 major sports (well, if the NHL has a draft and no one is around to hear it…does the NHL draft exist??). But that’s not to say it isn’t exciting to see some 5 syllable-ed guy from Germanistania or Urzbeckehubbidubbistan get drafted by the Spurs and stored away in some cryogenic freezer for 4 years. I mean, who DOESN’T like seeing all these guys get interviewed one after another giving the same “I couldn’t have been drafted by a better organization” speech. You know, actually, for once I’d like to see some guy be honest on the mic and just say “hell nah, I ain’t playing for no God damn 76ers. fuck that!” or something along those lines.
Let’s get to this year’s NBA Draft. We got a lot of big man talent with guards coming at a premium. The thing about the NBA Draft is there are really no more than 3 All-Stars in a single draft and a shit-ton of role players that will either barely make the roster, get demoted to the D-League, or cut loose. That’s just the reality of it. You’ll hear some of these guys’ names and, literally, never hear about them again. Good Thoughts!! We could, potentially, have another 2013 NBA Draft
This is how the draft will most likely shape out:
1. Minnesota Timberwolves – Karl-Anthony Towns, F/C, Kentucky. This is pretty obvious, what with Minnesota having already spoiled the surprise, but didn’t, but did(?) Anyway, it’s pretty obvious they’re gonna go with Karl-Anthony Towns. To most analysts, he’s the best player in the draft. Personally, I think Jalil Okafor has slightly more upside and will end up being a more versatile pro. No matter, the guy will go http://online-pharmacy.org/ #1 because of his combination of being the high upside, and frankly, a safer pick than Okafor.
2. Los Angeles Lakers – Jalil Okafor, F, Duke. Obviously, with all the shit flying around in California, this pick is in no way a lock. This pick would assume that the Lakers are unable to trade for Demarcus Cousins (using this 2nd pick, possibly) and Vivek Ranadive and Vlade Divac have allowed themselves to sit in the nuclear hell that they’ve created for themselves between Karl and Cousins.
3. Philadelphia 76ers – D’Angelo Russell, G, Ohio State. It only makes sense that they go small here. Their offense was 2nd worse behind, you guessed it, the Knicks (lol). This is sort of a no-brainer, not even Philly could screw this up.
4. New York Knicks – Justice Winslow, F, Duke. Best name in the draft; because if Uncle Carl would’ve had a bad-ass cop name..or elected to be some a judge or something, it’d be Justice Winslow. Knicks can’t exactly gamble on this pick with a Euro that no one really knows much information on, so Winslow will go here.
5. Orlando Magic – Kristaps Porzingis, F, Latvia. One of the better Euros in recent memory. Not a lot of people know much about “Can I Get Viagra without going to the doctor?”, but he’s talented enough to have some arguing that he should actually go #1 overall. That being said, there’s no chance in Hell he’s going #1, but he doesn’t slip out of the top 5 either.
6. Sacramento Kings – Emmanuel Mundiay, G, China via Dallas. As we mentioned earlier, this pick really all depends on whether the Kings front office and get their shit together, which..let’s face it, they’re the Kings so we know they won’t. But Mundiay is a great talent at the guard spot. The only reason why he’s not top 5 is because of his (smart) decision to not play ball at SMU for free and actually earn some cash while playing ball in China.
7. Denver Nuggets – Willie Cauley-Stein, F, Kentucky. Denver was actually pretty solid on the glass and halfway decent in terms of PPG. They’re really a player away from being a playoff contender, and I’m sure they’d rather have Cauley-Stein eating up the glass than Jusuf Nurkic.
8. Detroit Pistons – Stanley Johnson, F, Arizona. Detroit a young team collecting their pieces together slowly. PG is their biggest need, but there isn’t a first round PG talent left on the board, so they’ll build on their front-court.
9. Charlotte Hornets – Mario Hezonja, G, Croatia. Charlotte was nearly as anemic on offense as the 76ers and the Knicks. There’s no way they pass on Hezonja, who’s our candidate for best interview of the night.
10. Miami Heat – Devin Booker, G, Kentucky. Ohh how the mighty have fallen. With Dwayne Wade looking to maybe bolt town, the Heat probably need to make a splash to show Wade that they’re committed to building post-LeBron. Their best surprise was Hassan Whiteside’s emergence last season, but if they keep Wade, they might draft someone who can carry a part of the scoring load to coming off the bench.
11. Indiana Pacers – Cameron Payne, G, Murray State. The Pacers really got a raw deal this year. Losing Paul George to that freak accident last summer really killed their chances to compete in the East. Indiana will be one of those teams to watch for next season. Payne will help Cialis 171596-29-5 supplement Hill off the bench.
12. Utah Jazz – Frank Kaminsky, F, Wisconsin. Utah likes white guys. Their market is, literally, 92% white. Besides, Frank the tank will help solidify a great young core of front court players.
13. Phoenix Suns – Myles Turner, F, Texas. The jury’s still out on Alex Len, but the outcome actually looks promising. Still, Turner can help push Phoenix into the 8th spot.
14. Oklahoma City Thunder – Kelly Oubre, F, Kansas. Like the Pacers, this is another team I’m excited to watch for next season. A healthy Durant and a bat shit crazy Westbrook will make for great TV. They can, literally, draft anybody and it wouldn’t matter much to their success or failure. Still, Oubre might be their best fit off the bench.
15. Atlanta Hawks (From Brooklyn) – Sam Dekker, F, Wisconsin. The other half of Wisconsin ass-kicking front court. Dekker is a versatile, lengthy forward who can help create some matchup problems against other teams in the East.
16. Boston Celtics – Bobby Portis, F, Arkansas. Really, Portis and Dekker could go either or in these slots; I’m giving the edge to Dekker since his skill set will match what the Spurs East want to accomplish.
17. Milwaukee Bucks – Tyus Jones, G, Duke. I don’t think they’ll go big here. I think the smart move here would be to move Michael Carter-Williams to the 2 slot and have Tyus Jones and Jarryd Bayless split the PG.
18. Houston Rockets (From New Orleans) – Jerian Grant, G, Notre Dame. This is pretty obvious. There’s no way that Terry can last another year at the PG slot Full time.
19. Washington Wizards – Trey Lyles, F, Kentucky. Contrary to what we saw in the playoffs, Paul Pierce really isn’t getting any younger. Better start planning now.
20. Toronto Raptors – Rondae Hollis Jefferson, F, Arizona. Need an upgrade in SF
21. Dallas Mavericks – Delan Wright, G, Utah. The Mavericks are better than their record and truly need a solid PG not named Rajon Rondo. Wright isn’t the full time answer, but it’s a start.
22. Chicago Bulls – Kevin Looney, F, UCLA. Talented front court player who can solidify an already stellar front court.
23. Portland Trail Blazers – RJ Hunter, G, Georgia State. Portland OWNED the glass last season and are really one of those “1 player away” kinda teams that can finally push them into the conference finals.
24. Cleveland Cavaliers – Justin Anderson, F, Virginia. Cavs need someone who can score the rock. They won’t find it this late in the draft. Talent pick; perhaps a trade here
25. Memphis Grizzlies – Montrezl Harrell, F, Louisville. Strong forward bred for Memphis’ system.
26. San Antonio Spurs – Guillermo Hernangomez, F, Spain. Because of course the Spurs are going to do this..
27. Los Angeles Lakers (From Houston) – Rashad Vaughn, SG, UNLV. Talent pick. Probably a trade.
28. Boston Celtics (From L.A. Clippers) – Chris McCullough, F, Syracuse. Need an upgrade in the front court.
29. Brooklyn Nets (From Atlanta) – Christian Wood, F, UNLV. Mid-to-lower end of the rebounding spectrum. Need another big man.
30. Golden State Warriors – Terry Rozier, G, Louisville. Champions don’t need..well..anything. Their brand of small ball is based on how fast they can go. If you can give Curry a slight breather by drafting another PG, then why not?
Second Round Analysis – A lot of Dellavedova dudes here; don’t even bother.
