While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.
By this point, we’re pretty set with about 2 or 3 teams most likely ending up in the bottom 5 for the rest of the year, but it doesn’t make it any less fun to shit on them. Luckily for us, all of our previous week’s bottom 5 lost (YAY!)
These are the RGV’s worst 5 teams of the week:
#5 Donna Redskins (1-5) L 49-26 Brownsville Lopez: It wasn’t this. or this. or this. or even this. But losing to Lopez by double digits is what might finally pit Donna at rock-bottom.
#4 Brownsville Rivera Raiders (1-5) L 70-6 San Benito: As expected, Rivera rolled over and let San Benito march on their way into the playoffs. With this game, they officially hold the crown for worst defense in the RGV at 41.6 ppg. Soccer season couldn’t get here any faster.
#3 Brownsville Porter Cowboys (0-6) L 46-16 Donna North: Of course Porter would lose to Donna North by 30 points. Looking forward to Shit Bowl 3(!) when they take on our #5 Donna Redskins in a contest that’ll probably be decided by how many fans are on either side.
#2 Marine Military Academy Leathernecks (0-6) Forfeit to St. Anthony: I’ll be honest and say I have no clue why this game was forfeited. We can speculate that maybe MMA’s coaches thought to stop what would have certainly been a massacre on the football field (?) or maybe MMA forget they were playing that day (?) or maybe they just gave up (?) WHO KNOWS!?
#1 PSJA Memorial Wolverines (0-6) L 14-0 Edinburg: Watching the Wolverines struggle all this year has been like watching a puppy die of parvo. It’s sad and you just want it all to end swiftly. I am officially calling on PSJA ISD’s Athletic Director to end our misery and call off the Wolverines last 4 games. (damn..too late)
