While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.
We are officially in the 2nd half of the endless spiral down the rabbit-hole to find our worst team of 2016.
We’re back to a bottom 5 format which brings our shitty 1-win teams back in the fray!
These are the RGV’s worst 5 teams of the week:
#5 Donna Redskins (1-4) – L 53-14 Edcouch-Elsa: Valley football is sweetest when Donna is losing and this team is losing BIG. Getting shut-out 2 of the last 3 games and have yet to reach 50 points this season. The 2016 Donna Redskins are the team that the City of Donna deserves between their egregious corruption, constant sexual assaults toward minors, and the fact that they CLING on the name “Redskins” as if it were a birthright to be so racist. The Washington Redskins at least have a few fake Natives to pony up and defend their team name. Donna’s “permission” by Robert Soto of the Lipan Apache tribe is on-par to Michael Richard’s apologizing to Jesse Jackson, and from the looks of it, he’s rogue in his “approval.”
This was an actual quote from a Donna fan:
“We identify with that name a lot,” he said. “If you see the name Donna Redskins, we are all over the place. We don’t mean to offend anybody, but we are proud of being Redskins.”
Now let’s replay that with a minor edit.
“We identify with that name a lot,” he said. “If you see the name Donna Wetbacks, we are all over the place. We don’t mean to offend anybody, but we are proud of being Wetbacks.”
One more time.
“We identify with that name a lot,” he said. “If you see the name Donna Spics, we are all over the place. We don’t mean to offend anybody, but we are proud of being Spics.”
How about another.
“We identify with that name a lot,” he said. “If you see the name Donna Nazis, we are all over the place. We don’t mean to offend anybody, but we are proud of being Nazis.”
Last time.
“We identify with that name a lot,” he said. “If you see the name Donna Niggers, we are all over the place. We don’t mean to offend anybody, but we are proud of being Niggers.”
#4 Brownsville Rivera Raiders (1-4) L 62-7 Harlingen: Brownsville schools are like whack-a-moles. One drops out (Pace) and another one shows up right on cue to take it’s place. After getting baptized by Harlingen last week, they have the pleasure of getting themselves ripped apart by an even better San Benito team, and like a prisoner on death row, have no hope in the weeks to come except for the merciful end of yet another tortuous season.
#3 Brownsville Porter Cowboys (0-5) L 46-16 Donna North: The only team to lose to their hapless sister school just over them, the Porter Cowboys average about 9.2 points per game, which means they can at least sniff the endzone once every game. When you’re defense, however, is as useless as Derrick Rose’s knees, you have problem.
#2 Marine Military Academy Leathernecks (0-5) Bye: MMA has 2 TBA’s on their schedule, including 1 for tonight, and I’d put good money that they’d STILL lose. They have two more solid games left on their schedule to crawl out of the depths they’ve buried themselves in since Week 1.
#1 PSJA Memorial Wolverines (0-5) L 42-6 Edinburg Economedes: Dead last on offense (4 ppg). Dead last on defense (38.6 ppg). Dead last on point differential (-34.6 ppg). They actually have a legit chance to beat Edinburg and not cement themselves at the bottom for good, but with a defense as open as Trump’s asshole, I highly doubt it.
Dropped Out: Edinburg North (1-4), Progreso (1-3), Brownsville Pace (1-4)
