Life takes too long. Every year, we have to wait and watch another team win a Superbowl or dominate an NBA Finals or whatever. We wait a whole off-season, analyze a draft, go through pre- then regular then post- seasons to wait for ANOTHER champion. Repeat. Too long of a wait.
That’s why God invented self-simulating video games. Genius and reddit user Lorf_Yimzo recently posted his report on what he’s calling “The Millennial Sim,” the end result after he simulated 1000 years on Football Manager.
Video exclusively obtained by The Bench Wire CLEARLY shows Tom Brady and Bill Belichick SMASHING their phones to rid them of ballghazi evidence, quite possibly while they were both high. As it’s been reported, the NFL has upheld Brady’s original 4 game suspension. Hulk smashing evidence couldn’t have helped.
The USA Women’s Basketball team lost to Canada 81-73 last night making it the 2nd Gold medal game in a row that our countrymen have lost to the wild-lings north of the wall. Before we start freaking out, let me put this in better prospective. Again, for those of you not in the know, the Pan-Am games are going on in Toronto? Edmonton? Vancouver? Yeah…maybe it’s Vancouver. Anyway, also take note that none of our national teams are exactly our “A-Teams” since pro sports leagues are actually being played out right now. But still..it sucks to lose at anything to our annoyingly polite hat.
For those not in the know, and why would you be(?), the 2015 Pan American games are happening. Right now. Up in Canada. WHO KNEW?! Finding this out the other night was the equivalent of me finding a few crumpled up dollar bills in my dryer that fell out of my jean pockets. Good feelings.
For those not in the know, the MLB All-Star Game, like all others, tacks on a day of rest after the game is played for players to travel back to their respective teams. Since Baseball is the only major sport being televised, we subsequently get one day where no major sporting competitions are aired. Thus, this July 15th will be…
The Day Without Sports. (cue *blood curling scream* here).
Florida State Quarterback De’Andre Johnson was charged with battery last month for punching a woman in the face at a local Tallahassee bar. Johnson was subsequently suspended after the charge and will hopefully (and that’s a great BIG hope being that this is FSU) be removed from the team. Video obtained by the Tallahassee Democrat is pretty damning.