Sports - Page 12

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Courtroom Sketch Tom Brady Will Murder You Tonight

Courtroom Sketch Artist and nightmare enthusiast Jane Rosenberg does not see Tom Brady the way we see Tom Brady. Today, while sketching for the hearing held in New York Federal Court for Brady’s civil case against Roger Goodell, Rosenberg decided to pen a molten demon monster in lieu of the plaintiff.

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Announced: Floyd Mayweather vs. Andre Berto

Floyd Mayweather announced via Facebook that he will face Andre Berto on September 12th at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.

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Hero Bro Simulates 1000 Years In Football Manager

Life takes too long. Every year, we have to wait and watch another team win a Superbowl or dominate an NBA Finals or whatever. We wait a whole off-season, analyze a draft, go through pre- then regular then post- seasons to wait for ANOTHER champion. Repeat. Too long of a wait.

That’s why God invented self-simulating video games. Genius and reddit user Lorf_Yimzo recently posted his report on what he’s calling “The Millennial Sim,” the end result after he simulated 1000 years on Football Manager.

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Miguel Herrera Fired As Mexico National Soccer Team Coach

Miguel Herrera has been fired as coach of the Mexican National Soccer Team for punching some journalist dude in the neck on Sunday.

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VIDEO: Tom Brady Smashing Phone With Ballghazi Scandal Evidence

Video exclusively obtained by The Bench Wire CLEARLY shows Tom Brady and Bill Belichick SMASHING their phones to rid them of ballghazi evidence, quite possibly while they were both high. As it’s been reported, the NFL has upheld Brady’s original 4 game suspension. Hulk smashing evidence couldn’t have helped.

Madden Trolls Seattle Seahawks With Brutal Tweet

Every year, a month or so before the game is release, Madden teases it’s cult following by releasing the roster for their upcoming release. The Seattle Seahawks thought that human terminator and running back Marshawn Lynch got jipped on his “trucking” rating.

USA Women’s Basketball Loses To Canada or Why Is Our Hat Playing Basketball?

The USA Women’s Basketball team lost to Canada 81-73 last night making it the 2nd Gold medal game in a row that our countrymen have lost to the wild-lings north of the wall. Before we start freaking out, let me put this in better prospective. Again, for those of you not in the know, the Pan-Am games are going on in Toronto? Edmonton? Vancouver? Yeah…maybe it’s Vancouver. Anyway, also take note that none of our national teams are exactly our “A-Teams” since pro sports leagues are actually being played out right now. But sucks to lose at anything to our annoyingly polite hat.

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Canada Beats USA Baseball or Why Is Our Hat Playing Baseball?

For those not in the know, and why would you be(?), the 2015 Pan American games are happening. Right now. Up in Canada. WHO KNEW?! Finding this out the other night was the equivalent of me finding a few crumpled up dollar bills in my dryer that fell out of my jean pockets. Good feelings.

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What To Do On The Day Without Sports


For those not in the know, the MLB All-Star Game, like all others, tacks on a day of rest after the game is played for players to travel back to their respective teams. Since Baseball is the only major sport being televised, we subsequently get one day where no major sporting competitions are aired. Thus, this July 15th will be…

The Day Without Sports. (cue *blood curling scream* here).

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