Biden To Visit Brownsville Thursday – Unconfirmed For Charro Days


The New York Times is reporting that President Joe Biden will be meeting with border patrol agents, law enforcement and city leaders in Brownsville, Texas on Thursday to discuss the urgent need for a border agreement, as congress has failed to pass a bipartisan bill to address the border issue after former President Trump denounced a bipartisan bill passed by the Senate that was subsequently tanked by GOP members of the House.

The visit comes at the heels of Biden considering sweeping executive action on immigration to curtail asylum claims at the border, which has plagued President Biden’s term for years as record numbers of migration has strained border control resources.

300 miles north-west of Brownsville, in Eagle Pass, Texas, Trump plans to have his own visit to the border on Thursday as well to continue to make the border a central issue in this year’s presidential election.

Thursday also marks the beginning of Brownsville’s yearly “Charro Days” carnival. At the time of this writing, Biden’s schedule has not yet been made public, so, if Schrodinger and his cat have taught me anything, it’s that, at the time of this writing, Biden is BOTH not planning on attending AND planning on attending the Charro Days festival.

If Biden does plan on attending, the following are my odds as to what foods he’ll likely have:

A giant espiropapa +100,000

No fucking way he makes the same mistake Elon did two years ago.

Hot Cheetos with Cheese +20,000

Do you know a single person over 80 who can eat Hot Cheetos and Cheese and won’t end up in the hospital with a hole in their stomach?

A funnel cake +2000

Never understood this choice at carnivals. It’s a two hand dish, a NIGHTMARE if you’re walking, getting knocked around by a bunch of kids racing to get to the Zipper or the Spaceship 2000.

An ice cream cone -1100

I mean, c’mon. There’s no way he DOESN’T grab himself a scoop while he’s walking around out there. There’s an entire page of over 119 images on Getty’s website alone of Biden getting ice cream. No brainer

A raspa +3200

Ice cream is the odds on favorite and I don’t know any maniac who would have both ice cream AND a raspa on the same day.

A churro -200

Surprisingly, Biden is actually partial to churros which COULD get the upset over ice cream.

A pizza +300

Here come the Q-tards..

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