It’s Official: President Biden Will NOT Attend Charro Days


For many of us who thought deeply on how exactly Biden would chow down on an espiropapa have had our hopes crushed by the revelation that Biden will, in fact, NOT be attending Charro Days because everyone has better things to do than to hang out in Brownsville all day.

According to Biden’s public schedule, Biden will be arriving into Brownsville at approximately 1:35 PM and depart back to DC at 5:30 PM.

His schedule is as follows:

1:35 PM – Arrive in Brownsville, TX. (Brownsville South Padre Island International Airport)

2:10 PM – Receives briefing at the border.

3:05 PM – Receives operational briefing from U.S. Customs and Border Protection, USCIS, and ICE.

3:35 PM – Delivers remarks.

5:30 PM – Says sayonara to Brownsville and departs for Joint Base Andrews.

5:31 PM – Says “Sheesh, what a fucking shithole, huh? What kind of people actually live here? Christ on a cracker, I’ve never seen so many white Nissan Altimas in my life.” (Probably)

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