Judge nora longoria dwi mugshot
Judge nora longoria dwi mugshot

Reminder: Judge “Gin and Juice” Nora Longoria Wants Your Vote On Election Day


Remember that Judge that got pulled over for DWI? Well, she’s running for office again, so now would be a great time to refresh our memory on the absolute shit-show that was Judge Nora Longoria’s DWI arrest and every rat-assed event that followed.

Early morning, Saturday, July 12th, 2014, Longoria was pulled over by McAllen PD near 23rd. and Freddy Gonzalez going 69 on a 55-MPH zone. Here is the video from that night:

There’s quite a bit to unpack in the video, but here are some of the lowlights:

1: @ the beginning of the video, you can hear her plead for clemency from the officer, telling him that she is a “grieving widow.” She’s referring to her late husband, David Hockema who had died a little over a year prior.

2: @ 0:44, Longoria has her first field sobriety exam administered, to which she immediately fails, jerking her head and unable to look at the pen in front of her without looking and sounding like a complete God-damn mess.

3: @ 2:00, Longoria requests to take her heels off and begins to blame her lack of gravity on the shoes she’s wearing, in a sad attempt to physics her way out of an arrest.

4: @ 2:15 it’s almost inaudible what she says, but you can sort of make out Longoria saying “When you’re a 50-year old judge, this does not happen to you” again, attempting to use her position to sneak off without an arrest.

5: @ 2:40 When having the 2nd field sobriety test administered (walk in a straight line), Longoria argues that she cannot do the test. Eventually, she gives in and struggles mightily to keep balance.

6: @ 6:40 The 3rd field sobriety test is administered (leg out), and again, Longoria complains that she can not do the exam. She then complies and on her self-counted 7th second, loses balance and almost falls over. She then slurs out to the officer “I know I lost my balance, but I’m not fucked up. Can I try it again?” When the officer tells her that she has to hold her leg out for at least 30 seconds, she complains to him again and pleads saying “I’ll lose my licence, I’ll lose my judgeship.” After the officer, again, asks if she wants to do the test again, she asks “What do you think I should do? I don’t want (you to think) I’m trying hotcanadianpharmacy to cheat or anything…I live right there.” He, for a third time asks if she wants to continue with the test, to which she says “No…did I pass?” To which the officer responds, “No, you did not.”

7: @ 8:55 The officer instructs Longoria to move back to her car and asks if she would like to put her shoes on to which she defiantly rejects. She then subsequently, pathetically, pleads for consideration from the officer to let her go.

8: @ 10:58 There is some video continuity errors as the video jumps to the officer seemingly places Longoria under arrest, and then goes back the moments prior to her arrest.

10: @ 12:15 Longoria refuses to be arrested and pleads to the officer again.

11: @ 13:30 Longoria defiantly states “I will not be cuffed.” and begins to sound like a 1st-year law student and starts stating that she has not been read her rights claiming that she “has rights.” and continues to say “Where are my Miranda’s?” which she is referring to the Miranda Rights stated while someone is arrested. The officer then says “Miss Longoria, you know the way the law is.” to which she replies to the officer “Oh yes I do baby.” After an awkward pause, he simply says “I’m not a baby, either” to which she quips “Oh, yes you are.

12: @ 14:27 The video jumps to where 3 officers are now at the scene, showing her being carted off by officers.

The following November, Longoria had her DWI charge dismissed by Hidalgo County Court at Law No. 8 Judge Rolando Cantu, claiming the dismissal was “in the interest of justice.” as then-District Attorney Rene Guerra bafflingly claimed that there was not enough evidence to prosecute Longoria and that she had only been cited for speeding.

When asked about Longoria’s case, Guerra literally said: “When looking at the video it doesn’t sound to me like she had slurred speech.”

When asked about the dismissal, McAllen’s PD Chief Victor Rodriguez didn’t mince words, saying “It’s somebody that knows somebody,” the police chief said. “He made a decision based on that. And when caught in the public discussion of that, he’s trying to shift the blame.”

Today, Longoria’s opponent is Republican Greg Perkes, a former 13th Court of Appeals judge who lost his place on the Court of Appeals to Leticia Hinojosa in 2016.

Being the Editor in Chief of this site invites a plethora of different people who message our site, complaining about their elected officials. Yeah, we all make mistakes, but shit, you’re talking about a person who tried to use both her dead husband and her position to get out of being cuffed and at the end of the day, she still got off scot-free while we would have had the book thrown at us.

This is your chance to get rid of this person who doesn’t deserve your vote.

Oh and for the record, if you ever become a moderately popular person, enough so to run for elected office, you should probably invest $12 to buy your own domain name.

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