Earlier this week, The Monitor’s latest iteration “myrgv.com” posted a timeline of the scandal involving Edinburg Police Chief, Cesar Torres. As with most articles written by the journalists on myrgv.com, it took me all of about 3 minutes to suffer an aneurism. For the sake of clarity and to save the rest of the reading public from losing their minds attempting to make sense of this mess, here’s our version of this juicy, albeit very stupid, scandal.
The First Round of the 2021 NFL Draft is airing tonight live from LeBron’s ex-toilet. Will the 49ers select Mac Jones? Where will Justin Fields land? Will Roger Goodell be more blitzed than last year? Will Todd McShay and Mel Kiper make out? WHO KNOWS!?
Houston Texans all-world quarterback, Deshaun Watson has been named as a defendant in 13 different lawsuits brought by 16 different plaintiff women, all alleging that Deshaun Watson committed unwanted sexual advances against each of them.
The attorney representing all 16 women, Houston’s Tony Buzbee, has already hinted that there are still more lawsuits that could potentially be filed in Harris County, where the plaintiffs currently live and/or where the alleged unwanted sexual advances occurred.
In the interest of keeping everyone up to speed, we’ve decided to make a running database of each lawsuit and their allegations.
A high school basketball announcer in Oklahoma was caught on a hot mic calling the girls basketball team from Norman High School “fucking niggers” for kneeling in protest during the national anthem prior to their game on Thursday.
It’s campaign season in McAllen, which means your eyes get to be polluted by all sorts of campaign signs in hopes of attracting you enough to even, you know, actually give a shit vote. Let’s be real: I don’t think anybody on or running for the McAllen city commission is going to give me the time of day to interview them on their policies, so we’re offering up the next best thing!
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A committee commissioned by the University of Texas – Austin in November 2020 to explore the history and potential racial undertones of the school’s alma mater, “The Eyes of Texas” has concluded that its “intent…was not overtly racist,” and has also outlined broader strategies to better educate students on inclusion as well as commissioning a “special orchestration of “The Eyes” with (a) version composed or performed by a Black musician.”
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Local Weslaco resident and newly christened hero, Gabriel Palomo, spent Saturday night in county after signing “Fuck You” on the traffic ticket he received from Progreso PD.
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Which player has the most career home runs? Who has the single-season passing touchdown record? Which country has won the most World Cups?
These are just some of the most mainstream, widely known stats in sports; but why settle for mainstream sports stats (yuck!) when you can impress your friends with USELESS STATS?! Nothing else screams “my life is definitely not an empty shell and I am certainly an interesting person” like interjecting a sports discussion with some of the most useless, trivial stats ever compiled.
Strap in and get ready for the Elias Sports Bureau to eat your ass with this knowledge thanks to your friends at The Bench Wire!
The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.
We took a trip to Mile 5 for some tacos and all we got was a mouthful of disappointment. Welcome To Mission.
Ok, so maybe not technically a “new team” but the NBA and the Toronto Raptors have officially announced that the team will start the season by playing their home games in Tampa Bay instead of Toronto, due to Canada’s current restrictions on travel that would have made playing games against US-based teams almost impossible.
