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Here’s a Better Version of The Monitor’s Timeline of The Edinburg Police Chief Scandal

Published on May 17, 2021May 17, 2021
RGV/The News

Earlier this week, The Monitor’s latest iteration “myrgv.com” posted a timeline of the scandal involving Edinburg Police Chief, Cesar Torres. As with most articles written by the journalists on myrgv.com, it took me all of about 3 minutes to suffer an aneurism. For the sake of clarity and to save the rest of the reading public from losing their minds attempting to make sense of this mess, here’s our version of this juicy, albeit very stupid, scandal.

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Here’s the Wack-Ass Rap Video with the Edinburg PD Officer

Yesterday, we published a polished timeline of the events surrounding the scandal involving Edinburg police chief, Cesar Torres, and one

deshaun watson lawsuit

Every Sexual Harassment Suit Filed Against Deshuan Watson (Updated)

Houston Texans all-world quarterback, Deshaun Watson has been named as a defendant in 13 different lawsuits brought by 16 different

richard molina mayor of edinburg

Either The City of Edinburg Is Really This Corrupt Or Really Fucking Stupid

If you haven’t heard, Edinburg Mayor Richard Molina and his wife Dalia have been charged with several counts of illegal

The Bench Wire’s Hater’s Guide to the First Round of the 2021 NFL Draft

Published on April 29, 2021April 29, 2021
Sports
the bench wire haters guide to the 2021 nfl draft first round

The First Round of the 2021 NFL Draft is airing tonight live from LeBron’s ex-toilet. Will the 49ers select Mac Jones? Where will Justin Fields land? Will Roger Goodell be more blitzed than last year? Will Todd McShay and Mel Kiper make out? WHO KNOWS!?

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deshaun watson lawsuit

Every Sexual Harassment Suit Filed Against Deshuan Watson (Updated)

Houston Texans all-world quarterback, Deshaun Watson has been named as a defendant in 13 different lawsuits brought by 16 different

Colin Kaepernick, Eric Reid and NFL Settle Collusion Lawsuits

Colin Kaepernick’s attorney, Mark Geragos, announced that the collusion lawsuits, brought by Kaepernick and Eric Reid against the NFL for

Dez Bryant

Dallas Cowboys Release Dez Bryant

Career Dallas Cowboys WR Dez Bryant has been released from the team Friday according to ESPN’s Todd Archer.

Every Sexual Harassment Suit Filed Against Deshuan Watson (Updated)

Published on March 25, 2021March 25, 2021
Sports/The News
deshaun watson lawsuit

Houston Texans all-world quarterback, Deshaun Watson has been named as a defendant in 13 different lawsuits brought by 16 different plaintiff women, all alleging that Deshaun Watson committed unwanted sexual advances against each of them.

The attorney representing all 16 women, Houston’s Tony Buzbee, has already hinted that there are still more lawsuits that could potentially be filed in Harris County, where the plaintiffs currently live and/or where the alleged unwanted sexual advances occurred.

In the interest of keeping everyone up to speed, we’ve decided to make a running database of each lawsuit and their allegations.

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Here’s the Wack-Ass Rap Video with the Edinburg PD Officer

Yesterday, we published a polished timeline of the events surrounding the scandal involving Edinburg police chief, Cesar Torres, and one

Here’s a Better Version of The Monitor’s Timeline of The Edinburg Police Chief Scandal

Earlier this week, The Monitor’s latest iteration “myrgv.com” posted a timeline of the scandal involving Edinburg Police Chief, Cesar Torres.

the bench wire haters guide to the 2021 nfl draft first round

The Bench Wire’s Hater’s Guide to the First Round of the 2021 NFL Draft

The First Round of the 2021 NFL Draft is airing tonight live from LeBron’s ex-toilet. Will the 49ers select Mac

Racist High School Announcer Calls Team “Fucking Nig—s” on Broadcast For Kneeling During National Anthem

Published on March 12, 2021March 12, 2021
Sports/The News

A high school basketball announcer in Oklahoma was caught on a hot mic calling the girls basketball team from Norman High School “fucking niggers” for kneeling in protest during the national anthem prior to their game on Thursday.

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Let’s Explain What’s Happening With KGBT Channel 4

Earlier this week, KGBT announced that beginning on Tuesday, January 28 at midnight, CBS programming would be moved over to

KGBT Channel 4 Is Covering Melting Peeps, For Some Reason

When we write stories shitting on our local media, we do everything we possibly can to rag on them evenly,

kgbt claims trooper sanchez has died DPS Trooper Shooting

KGBT Channel 4 Really Shit The Bed Covering The DPS Trooper Shooting

At about 8:45 PM Saturday night, Texas DPS Trooper Moises Sanchez was shot twice shortly after investigating the scene of

Let’s Rate The McAllen City Election Campaign Signs

Published on March 9, 2021March 9, 2021
RGV

It’s campaign season in McAllen, which means your eyes get to be polluted by all sorts of campaign signs in hopes of attracting you enough to even, you know, actually give a shit vote. Let’s be real: I don’t think anybody on or running for the McAllen city commission is going to give me the time of day to interview them on their policies, so we’re offering up the next best thing!
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Let’s See How We Did On Our Election Predictions

Tuesday afternoon, we posted our predictions for election night and, ultimately, the outcome of the election. We got a few

Here’s The Site Charging People For Fake McAllen Garage Sale Permits

The City of McAllen’s Health & Code Enforcement Department issued a warning to its residents yesterday regarding a SignNow account

Armando O’Caña Spent $57,666 On Lawyers To Be Mayor of Mission and Still Lost

According to campaign finance reports acquired from the City of Mission, Armando “Doc” O’Caña spent $57,666 in legal representation in

Committee: School Song ‘The Eyes of Texas’ “Intent…Was Not Overtly Racist”

Published on March 9, 2021March 9, 2021
Sports/The News
Texas Longhorns the eyes of texas

A committee commissioned by the University of Texas – Austin in November 2020 to explore the history and potential racial undertones of the school’s alma mater, “The Eyes of Texas” has concluded that its “intent…was not overtly racist,” and has also outlined broader strategies to better educate students on inclusion as well as commissioning a “special orchestration of “The Eyes” with (a) version composed or performed by a Black musician.”
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According To The #1 Recruit in The Country, No—Texas Football Is Definitely Not Back

Quinn Ewers, Southlake Carroll (TX) High School’s all-world quarterback, has announced his intent to sign with the Ohio State Buckeyes

Coach Art Briles Has Been Fired By Baylor

According to a press release by the university, Baylor has fired Coach Art Briles, demoted President Ken Starr (although there

college football 2015 recap week 4

College Football 2015 Week 4 Recap

No real major upsets (Unless you count Utah’s stomping all over of Oregon an “upset”) this week in college football,

Weslaco Hero Signs “Fuck You” On His Traffic Ticket; Gets Arrested

Published on February 9, 2021February 9, 2021
RGV/The News

Local Weslaco resident and newly christened hero, Gabriel Palomo, spent Saturday night in county after signing “Fuck You” on the traffic ticket he received from Progreso PD.
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Here’s the Wack-Ass Rap Video with the Edinburg PD Officer

Yesterday, we published a polished timeline of the events surrounding the scandal involving Edinburg police chief, Cesar Torres, and one

Some Hero Probably Jacked 19 Pounds of Weed From Santa Rosa PD’s Evidence Room

The results of an audit conducted by Cameron County’s DA Luis Saenz’ office and the Texas Rangers show that approximately

geovani hernandez

Geovani Hernandez, Ex-Hidalgo County Sheriff Candidate, Charged In Connection With Drug Trafficking

Current Progreso Police Department Sergeant Geovani (Not, “Giovani,” Valley Central) Hernandez has been charged with aiding and abetting the trafficking

TBW Useless Stats: Which College Does Each NFL Team Draft From The Most?

Published on January 21, 2021January 21, 2021
Sports
nfl draft college

Which player has the most career home runs? Who has the single-season passing touchdown record? Which country has won the most World Cups?

These are just some of the most mainstream, widely known stats in sports; but why settle for mainstream sports stats (yuck!) when you can impress your friends with USELESS STATS?! Nothing else screams “my life is definitely not an empty shell and I am certainly an interesting person” like interjecting a sports discussion with some of the most useless, trivial stats ever compiled.

Strap in and get ready for the Elias Sports Bureau to eat your ass with this knowledge thanks to your friends at The Bench Wire!

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The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Mission

Published on December 30, 2020December 30, 2020
Rants/RGV
the bench wires haters guide to the valley mission

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.

We took a trip to Mile 5 for some tacos and all we got was a mouthful of disappointment. Welcome To Mission.

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ex mission mayor norberto beto salinas

Mission Ex-Mayor Beto Salinas Vs. New Mayor Gets A Trial; Will Be A Shitshow

A trial date has been set for September 24th for a lawsuit filed back on July 18th by Ex-Mayor of

haters guide to the valley hidalgo

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Hidalgo

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the

Haters guide to the valley pharr

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Pharr

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the

Let’s Welcome The NBA’s Newest Team: The Tampa Bay Raptors Because 2020!

Published on November 20, 2020November 20, 2020
Sports

Ok, so maybe not technically a “new team” but the NBA and the Toronto Raptors have officially announced that the team will start the season by playing their home games in Tampa Bay instead of Toronto, due to Canada’s current restrictions on travel that would have made playing games against US-based teams almost impossible.

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There’s Literally Only One Path Left For LeBron To Be The GOAT

After playing 18 seasons in the NBA, there really isn’t much left to discuss. Cutting through the opinions about his

manu ginobili

Manu Ginobili Was a Wizard

With the announcement of his retirement earlier today, it’s easy to assume that Manu Ginobili’s professional career will mostly be

brad stevens

Brad Stevens Is The Heir Apparent To Gregg Popovich

Of all of Danny Ainge’s bold moves as his reign as longtime Boston Celtics GM: triggering the trades that landed

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