Cheating on your girlfriend is like getting into a bathtub full of hot water.
You can’t just jump in. You have to ease your way in, step by step and you’d better take extra care when it reaches your genitals.
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Sports, News, Opinion
U.S. District Court Judge Richard Berman ruled against the NFL today after Tom Brady and the league failed to reach an agreement.
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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.
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IT’S HERE! When one off-season passes you think, “There’s no way next year can be just as bad.” The NFL, it’s players, it’s owners, are all gifts that continue to give all through the Spring and Summer as we wait for another season to kick off. From bloodied children to mass exoduses, the NFL off-season reminds us that some of these fast giants are weird fucking people. But none of it matters now.
it’s fucking go time.
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Banksy’s opened up a dystopian theme park named Dismaland..to tell us all that we’re fascist sheep of consumers who are BLINDED by own consumerism and occupy and corporations and social prison and YEAAHHHH!!!!
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The Mexican national soccer team has named current UANL Tigres coach and human brillo pad Ricardo “Tuca” Ferretti as interim coach after Mexico’s previous manager, Miguel Herrera, got himself canned after punching some dude in the neck.
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FBI and federal court documents confirm that McAllen DEA Agent James Patrick Burke has been charged with accessing child pornography after FBI raided his home on Friday.
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Some of us may have forgotten that quarterback (and doppelganger to The Bench Wire COO) Tim Tebow still exists and was signed on to (maybe) help sort out the Philadelphia Eagles’ quarterback situation. Here he is being relevant again.
Team USA wrapped up their minicamp in Las Vegas last week to prep for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio next August. When asked about his chances for making the 12-man roster, John Wall kinda cut the bullshit and laid it out flat.
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Courtroom Sketch Artist and nightmare enthusiast Jane Rosenberg does not see Tom Brady the way we see Tom Brady. Today, while sketching for the hearing held in New York Federal Court for Brady’s civil case against Roger Goodell, Rosenberg decided to pen a molten demon monster in lieu of the plaintiff.
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