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Cristiano Ronaldo’s Bronze Bust Will Eat You In Your Sleep

Demi-god and soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo was honored in his hometown of Madeira, Portugal earlier today with the dedicating of the local airport in his name and the unveiling of a bust forged in a black hole of nightmares. Keep Reading

Writers Need To Stop Preaching To The NFL To Be The Moral Police

On Monday, Drew Magary wrote an article for GQ criticizing the NFL for dragging their feet investigating Ezekiel Elliott’s alleged incident with his ex-Girlfriend this past summer. For those who know me personally, know that Magary is my spirit animal. His writing style alone is one of the greater inspirations that led us to build The Bench Wire. It pains me to say, however, that Drew Magary needs to, very much, shut the fuck up.

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2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 7

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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UTRGV Football Is A Really Stupid Idea

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Earlier this year, officials from UTRGV took their first major steps toward finally creating a college football program in the RGV and absolutely nothing about this is a good idea.

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2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 6

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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2016 RGV Worst High School Football Teams Week 5

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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