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BMX Legend Dave Mirra Dead From Apparent Suicide

Published on February 5, 2016February 5, 2016
Sports
dave mirra

BMX legend Dave Mirra died last night in his hometown of Greenville, North Carolina from an apparent self-inflicted gun shot wound to the head. No immediate details are available surrounding the circumstances of his death, only that Mirra was found in his truck and was alone when it happened. Keep Reading

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antwaan-randle-el

Antwaan Randle-El Regrets Playing Football

If former Steelers WR Antwaan Randle-El had a chance to do it all over again, he would have stayed away

Hidalgo Mayor Pro Tem Noe Reyes Is An Asshole

Published on February 2, 2016February 3, 2016
RGV
noe reyes

With the back and forth non-sense that’s been circling around the future of Borderfest, The Monitor just dropped a pretty crazy story about Hidalgo Jr Mayor Noe Reyes, Hidalgo City Councilman Sergio Coronado, Municipal Judge Juan Pimentel and their goodwill trip to Rio de Janeiro.
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haters guide to the valley hidalgo

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Hidalgo

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Donna

Published on February 1, 2016February 2, 2016
Rants/RGV

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.
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the bench wires haters guide to the valley mission

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Mission

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the

the bench wires haters guide to the valley mission

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Mission

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the

donna isd

Donna ISD’s New Slogan Is “The District of Tomorrow” But Let’s Give Them Another One Anyway

Donna Independent School District has unveiled their new slogan, “The District of Tomorrow” in an effort to rebrand an image

Mission High Hires Koy Detmer As Head Coach

Published on February 1, 2016February 1, 2016
RGV/Sports
Koy Detmer

Former NFL quarterback and Mission alumnus Koy Detmer has just been hired to be the next head coach at Mission High School via school board meeting held today. Keep Reading

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Ladies, JJ Watt Wants You To Stay Away From His Dick

Published on February 1, 2016February 1, 2016
Sports
jj watt

Houston Texans defensive end and former pizza delivery guy JJ Watt is resting up this offseason to heal up his injured groin. That being said, he wants to remind your horny mom that it is NOT OK to publicly offer their services to get close to his junk. Keep Reading

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Blake Griffin Broke His Hand Beating A Clippers Staffer’s Face *UPDATE*

Published on January 26, 2016January 26, 2016
Sports
Blake Griffin

Reports are coming in about Blake Griffin getting into a scuffle with a Clippers equipment staffer last night outside of a Toronto restaurant. The staffer was treated at a local hospital and Griffin was flown back to LA after reportedly breaking his right hand. Keep Reading

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There’s Literally Only One Path Left For LeBron To Be The GOAT

After playing 18 seasons in the NBA, there really isn’t much left to discuss. Cutting through the opinions about his

Let’s Welcome The NBA’s Newest Team: The Tampa Bay Raptors Because 2020!

Ok, so maybe not technically a “new team” but the NBA and the Toronto Raptors have officially announced that the

manu ginobili

Manu Ginobili Was a Wizard

With the announcement of his retirement earlier today, it’s easy to assume that Manu Ginobili’s professional career will mostly be

Antwaan Randle-El Regrets Playing Football

Published on January 20, 2016
Sports
antwaan-randle-el

If former Steelers WR Antwaan Randle-El had a chance to do it all over again, he would have stayed away from football.
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the bench wire haters guide to the 2021 nfl draft first round

The Bench Wire’s Hater’s Guide to the First Round of the 2021 NFL Draft

The First Round of the 2021 NFL Draft is airing tonight live from LeBron’s ex-toilet. Will the 49ers select Mac

deshaun watson lawsuit

Every Sexual Harassment Suit Filed Against Deshuan Watson (Updated)

Houston Texans all-world quarterback, Deshaun Watson has been named as a defendant in 13 different lawsuits brought by 16 different

Colin Kaepernick, Eric Reid and NFL Settle Collusion Lawsuits

Colin Kaepernick’s attorney, Mark Geragos, announced that the collusion lawsuits, brought by Kaepernick and Eric Reid against the NFL for

Report: RGV Has The Poorest Counties In Texas

Published on January 19, 2016November 22, 2019
Rants/RGV
Poorest Counties RGV

In news that really isn’t news, those of us living in the Valley are really really poor. =(
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The Valley Isn’t Growing Anymore And It’s All The Millennials’ Fault

Leadership Resource Group, a single person consulting company based in McAllen, compiled public data from the US Census Bureau that

San Juan Officer JP Galindo

San Juan Cop Gets To Keep His Job After Kneeing A Guy In The Crotch

An independent arbitrator has ruled in favor of San Juan police officer JP Galindo after he was suspended and subsequently

Javier Villarreal

Casino Bus Crash Victims Won’t Be Compensated Because Two Attorneys Made Dick Moves

From a story published by Kristian Hernandez of The Monitor this morning, most of the victims of the casino bus

TBW People of 2015: #9 Holly Holm

Published on December 15, 2015
The News
Holly Holm

2015 is all but over, folks. It’s another year gone, which means humans get to stake another plank on the ground of existence and get to say “We made it another year without completely destroying ourselves!” For better or for worse, these were the people that made 2015 the year that was.

In January, nobody knew who the hell Holly Holm was. 1 bone crushing kick to the neck of one Ronda Rousey later and she’s turned an entire sport on it’s head.
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Justin Bieber, The Bench Wire People of 2015

TBW People Of 2015: #10 Justin Bieber

2015 is all but over, folks. It’s another year gone, which means humans get to stake another plank on the

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: La Feria

Published on December 14, 2015February 1, 2016
RGV
TBW Hater's Guide To The Valley La Feria

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.

Keep Reading

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the bench wires haters guide to the valley mission

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Mission

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the

the bench wires haters guide to the valley mission

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Mission

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the

La Féria Strip Club Burns Down – wait…what?

I woke up in a weird haze this morning with a slight hangover that a good egg sandwich could kill.

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