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Local RGV things

The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Monitor’s 2016 Choice Awards

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Bring out the red carpet and bust out our finest $9-est champagne! It’s the The Monitor’s 2016 Readers’ Choice Awards (breakfast banquet)! ALL the local big-wigs are here like the fresh cadaver running for congress and a giant dick from Hidalgo (maybe!). So strap-on that strap-on and get ready to get skull-fucked by the best of the best that the Valley has to offer! Keep Reading

2016 RGV Worst High School Football Teams Week 5

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 3

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams.

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2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 2

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams. Keep Reading

2016 Worst RGV High School Football Teams Week 1

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While we already have PLENTY of rankings of the top teams in the Valley from the Monitor, RGV Sports, (S)TD Dave, etc. the Bench Wire believes that EVERYONE needs their chance in the spotlight…even our comically terrible teams. Keep Reading

VITC Health Care District: Cut the Shit, Racists

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There are a few group of people who follow valley politics pretty closely. I like to think that I am one of them.

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The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: San Juan

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The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.

There was an accident on the expressway, so we got off on I-Road, only to get stuck behind another 80-car pile-up on the frontage. Welcome to San Juan.

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