The Bench Wire

Every Sexual Harassment Suit Filed Against Deshuan Watson (Updated)

Published on March 25, 2021March 25, 2021

Houston Texans all-world quarterback, Deshaun Watson has been named as a defendant in 13 different lawsuits brought by 16 different plaintiff women, all alleging that Deshaun Watson committed unwanted sexual advances against each of them.

The attorney representing all 16 women, Houston’s Tony Buzbee, has already hinted that there are still more lawsuits that could potentially be filed in Harris County, where the plaintiffs currently live and/or where the alleged unwanted sexual advances occurred.

In the interest of keeping everyone up to speed, we’ve decided to make a running database of each lawsuit and their allegations.

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Racist High School Announcer Calls Team “Fucking Nig—s” on Broadcast For Kneeling During National Anthem

Published on March 12, 2021March 12, 2021

Sports/The News

A high school basketball announcer in Oklahoma was caught on a hot mic calling the girls basketball team from Norman High School “fucking niggers” for kneeling in protest during the national anthem prior to their game on Thursday.

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Let’s Rate The McAllen City Election Campaign Signs

Published on March 9, 2021March 9, 2021

RGV

It’s campaign season in McAllen, which means your eyes get to be polluted by all sorts of campaign signs in hopes of attracting you enough to even, you know, actually give a shit vote. Let’s be real: I don’t think anybody on or running for the McAllen city commission is going to give me the time of day to interview them on their policies, so we’re offering up the next best thing!
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Committee: School Song ‘The Eyes of Texas’ “Intent…Was Not Overtly Racist”

Published on March 9, 2021March 9, 2021

Sports/The News

A committee commissioned by the University of Texas – Austin in November 2020 to explore the history and potential racial undertones of the school’s alma mater, “The Eyes of Texas” has concluded that its “intent…was not overtly racist,” and has also outlined broader strategies to better educate students on inclusion as well as commissioning a “special orchestration of “The Eyes” with (a) version composed or performed by a Black musician.”
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Weslaco Hero Signs “Fuck You” On His Traffic Ticket; Gets Arrested

Published on February 9, 2021February 9, 2021

RGV/The News

Local Weslaco resident and newly christened hero, Gabriel Palomo, spent Saturday night in county after signing “Fuck You” on the traffic ticket he received from Progreso PD.
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TBW Useless Stats: Which College Does Each NFL Team Draft From The Most?

Published on January 21, 2021January 21, 2021

Sports

Which player has the most career home runs? Who has the single-season passing touchdown record? Which country has won the most World Cups?

These are just some of the most mainstream, widely known stats in sports; but why settle for mainstream sports stats (yuck!) when you can impress your friends with USELESS STATS?! Nothing else screams “my life is definitely not an empty shell and I am certainly an interesting person” like interjecting a sports discussion with some of the most useless, trivial stats ever compiled.

Strap in and get ready for the Elias Sports Bureau to eat your ass with this knowledge thanks to your friends at The Bench Wire!

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The Bench Wire Hater’s Guide To The Valley: Mission

Published on December 30, 2020December 30, 2020

Rants/RGV

the bench wires haters guide to the valley mission

The Valley is one of a kind when it comes to diversity. From the racist white people, the country-wannabes, the ghetto Hispanics, the snobby Mexicans from Monterrey and the token black person in between. With all that diversity and culture mixing all over, visiting the Valley might be a little overwhelming. Not to worry, tourist: The Bench Wire is here to help.

We took a trip to Mile 5 for some tacos and all we got was a mouthful of disappointment. Welcome To Mission.

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Let’s Welcome The NBA’s Newest Team: The Tampa Bay Raptors Because 2020!

Published on November 20, 2020November 20, 2020

Sports

Ok, so maybe not technically a “new team” but the NBA and the Toronto Raptors have officially announced that the team will start the season by playing their home games in Tampa Bay instead of Toronto, due to Canada’s current restrictions on travel that would have made playing games against US-based teams almost impossible.

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According To The #1 Recruit in The Country, No—Texas Football Is Definitely Not Back

Published on November 20, 2020November 20, 2020

Sports

Quinn Ewers, Southlake Carroll (TX) High School’s all-world quarterback, has announced his intent to sign with the Ohio State Buckeyes over the in-state Texas Longhorns after initially committing to Texas earlier this year, firmly burying the notion that Texas Longhorns football is of any consequence anymore.

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